I had my Doctor appointment today and I went in not really know what to expect. I have tried to stay off the internet so I wouldn't fill my mind with things that I shouldn't worry about. Of course I was nervous and had butterflies but once I was in the waiting room I felt peace (Thanks to all of you praying!!!). Dr. Wong came in and right away hugged me and asked how I was doing! What an amazing Doctor!! I have loved her before this but to have a Doctor who truly cares about you is definitely something to be happy about these days!
I was given the best news possible with my situation. She confirmed I did indeed have a molar pregnancy (which I totally expected to hear). She did tell me it was NOT pre-cancerous which I was so relived but also realized I had not even let my mind go there. I am very thankful this was not something I was worried about and I give credit to God for not letting my mind even wander there. :) My hormones were at 80,000 hgc (SUPER high) right before my surgery on March 2nd. As of yesterday they were at 2,400. This is amazing. That is a giant drop, VERY quickly and my doctor was very happy with the results. She said that they don't expect me to "level out" until at least 6 weeks after surgery. I am on the right track (Praise the Lord!!!).
So from here on out I go in every Wednesday or Thursday for HGC test to measure my hormone count. Once I hit 0-10 in my hormone counts and have 3 consecutive weeks of 0-10hgc we can start trying 6 months from then. So we need three weeks straight of good HGC count and then 6 months from then we can start trying to conceive another precious child. I was SO SO happy to hear this. I had prepared myself to hear 12 months so to hear 6 months was such a relief. I can do that...I can actually imagine 6 months from May/June (best case scenario) being able to try again. Just the fact that I may be able to try in 2012 is so overwhelming and encouraging. God has answered our prayers. He as protected us, loved us and shown us He is present in all situations. I finally feel like I can BREATHE. The world has been lifted from me. In all honesty I just want to have a good cry and let it all out. I just want to thank God for all He has done. My baby is gone, I have accepted that. I also have accepted that my baby was very messed up at conception. I praise God that he spared me from more grief than I already endured. I realize things could have been much, much worse. Things did not go well and that baby was not meant to be mine in this life. I know that someday when I hold my next child all of this pain and suffering will be worth it. The wait will be worth it and I cling to that hope.
Thank YOU. Thank you for your kind words and prayers. I feel them. Thank you for taking the time to read this and care enough about me. God is blessing me with your prayers and words. I am so overwhelmed by the cards, notes, emails and flowers that show up. It is humbling and truly lovely to feel so loved. Many of you are caught up in both sides of our drama with my miscarriage and my niece being in NICU. I am so humbled to get notes that you are still thinking of me and praying. Everything I have is going to praying for Piper to heal her little body. To hear that many of you still are thinking of me is remarkable. Thank you so much. So many of you have blessed my life beyond words. Blessings and Grace to you all.
Love,
a very thankful and happy mommy. :)
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