I have decided to start keeping a blog again due to the many life events that have taken place the last few weeks. Many of you know about my niece Piper, who is in the NICU unit in Missoula, MT. She is having trouble breathing and is expected to be there for a couple of weeks. Many of you may not know what was going on before this event happened.
About 2 weeks ago we found out that I suffered a miscarriage. We went into the OBGYN for our first appointment and they couldn't detect a baby. After countless ultra sounds and blood tests the doctors confirmed that we had miscarried. We of course are devastated and grieving the loss of our child. They believe I had a "molar pregnancy" which is extremely rare (1 out of 1000 pregnancies). Please don't google it...its scary and not something you want to read about. My Doctor has assured me that I am absolutely fine and they caught it very early. Basically at conception something went really wrong with the chromosomes of the baby. We are not sure how many weeks I carried until the baby died. With the molar pregnancy, after the baby dies the placenta becomes abnormal mass of tissues and produces massive amounts of pregnancy hormones. This is why I felt an looked pregnant. I had zero indication something was wrong, I felt the same way I did with Natalie. One of the hardest parts of this is the very real possibility that I will have to wait a year before trying to conceive again. I won't know for a few months if that is what I have to do. It will depend on the pathology of the tissues and when my hormone levels go back to normal. Please pray for us during this time. It is already so hard to grieve the loss of our baby but to also be faced with the possibility of waiting a year to even try is very hard. I realize that in the span of a lifetime a year is not that long, but when you want a baby and you thought you would have a baby by then it is really difficult.
I feel very blessed that God took the baby home and I take great comfort in knowing my baby is whole and healthy in heaven. That being said I still am grieving our loss. Many of you that have known have sent cards, flowers and kind notes.....they have been so encouraging and so incredibly wonderful. Thank you. I know many people do not know what to say to us but I can assure you just saying "sorry for your loss" is enough. I am not looking for someone to cure my pain. Thank you for prayers and incredible friendships.
I feel like so many of you only get emails from me with prayer requests (matthew's cancer, my miscarriage and now for piper) but it has just been one of those times when our family needs a lot of extra prayers and love. We know God loves us and He is good. We know He has a plan for our lives and He will bless us. My faith has been tested and I am choosing to follow God. I am choosing to trust in Him and His plan. I know I may never understand "why" and I know that there have been many others who have experienced this pain. Each day get's a little better and I know some days will be harder than others. But I am thanking God for my blessings...my family most of all.
Please continue to pray for little Piper. As of today she is still resting peacefully and is slowly improving. Pray for strength, wisdom and trust for Mike and Beth. So far they have been so positive and encouraging to all of us. We have faith God has gotten Piper the care she desperately needed and is now in good hands. Pray for our parents as well. This has been a very stressful time for them.
Please feel free to email/contact me. Love and blessings to you all.
"trust in the Lord with ALL your heart. Lean NOT on our own understandings" Proverbs 3:5-6
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